ASK THE DOCTOR: Think and Talk it Out First

by Dr. Snunit Ben-Ozer

Dear Doctor Ben-Ozer,

My partner and I (both female) would like to start a family in the next year. She is 40 and I am 34. How do we start?


D and R, in LA

Dear D and R,

Fortunately there are many options. It is paramount to be open with each other prior to making a decision. For example, do you wish to use anonymous sperm or a known sperm donor? How many children would you ideally like to have? Do both of you wish to conceive using the same sperm, so your resulting children will be genetically related as “1/2 siblings”? If so, the partner who is 40 should start first. Do you wish for only one of you to conceive? If so, if the other female partner has a brother available to donate sperm, the resulting children would be genetically related to both of you. Do you wish to adopt a child, domestically or internationally, and give a warm home to someone already in need?

Thinking It Over

Once you are clear in the path you plan to take, contact the right professional for help: an adoption attorney or agency for adoptions; a reproductive endocrinologist or a gynecologist who performs inseminations if you are interested in conceiving. Even if you’d like to begin with home inseminations, I recommend you have one consultation to make sure you perform the procedures properly, and to ensure there is nothing special that needs to be looked into by your personal history.

Dr. Ben-Ozer is Board Certified in Infertility & Reproductive Endocrinology and OB/GYN. She is the founder of the Tree of Life Center and practices in Tarzana and Beverly Hills. She is an associate clinical professor at UCLA Geffen School of Medicine. She specializes in sperm and egg donation, advanced maternal age, surrogacy, and recurrent pregnancy loss. You can find more information at click here, write us at benozer(dot)tlcfertility(at)gmail(dot)com or call TLC at (818) 344-TLC2 (344-8522).

Disclaimer: The medical information provided in the Ask the Doctor column of the Rainbow Babies is provided for general information only. There are many specific medical conditions which may change the usual course of treatment or increase the risk of complications. The information herein is not intended, nor should it be used to replace the actual evaluation of a physician.

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